


Zebra Stripes

by Moonllotus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 1970s, Eventual Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Gen, Growing Up Together, M/M, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Mauraders, Mutual Pining, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin Friendship, Slow Romance, Sweet, Young Love, Young Remus Lupin, Young Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 20:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15151307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonllotus/pseuds/Moonllotus
Summary: It was these emotions that scared poor Sirius. He was not ashamed about what he felt, but the crippling fear of Remus finding out was unbearable. He decided early on that he would not act on his feelings. It was painful, yes, but it kept their friendship safe.Besides, it wasn't as if Remus felt the same.





	Zebra Stripes

**Author's Note:**

> Super old fic that's been revamped. Enjoy.

**I.**

They were running as fast as they could, trying to catch the Hogwarts Express before it left them behind. They could see the smoke already start to puff out from the front engine, and they carted their belongings in a hurried frenzy. Nervous laughter escaped their lips.

If they missed that train then they'd miss the beginning of their fifth year, and that just wouldn't bode well for either of them.

"Why did I convince you to let me show you around a muggle station?" Remus demanded, trying to make his voice sound angry as they managed to catch the train before it left. He let the conductor handle his things and took his suitcase which held his robes away from the others.

The other teenager, a boy whom obviously just hit a rather large growth spurt and had decided that it was a good summer to start working out, just laughed. It was a sharp barking sound that made other students pop their heads out of their compartment windows. Sirius grinned easily, copying his companion.

"Because I was curious! Muggles are awful curious creatures, Moony." His gray eyes sparkled with mirth at the near miss of their ride. He was sure that if they really had missed the train, Remus would've definitely killed him.

Remus turned and frowned at the him. "I would've killed you had we missed this train you know."

"No you wouldn't have, you love me too much," Sirius answered easily. They both then stared at each other awkwardly after his statement was made.

For a moment, and only a moment, something shifted between them. It was as if their entire relationship had just been tilted on an axis. And then James opened their compartment door and the moment was ruined.

* * *

**II.**

Remus felt as if he were _suffocating_ , crouching low in the closet underneath a staircase to hide from Filch _by himself_ would've been fine. But because he was with Sirius, it was too crowded, too warm, and too stuffy.

Sirius hot breath kept touching the back of his neck, causing goose flesh to appear down his arms. Remus felt his face begin to flush. This was entirely too intimate for his comfort. There were moments like these when he couldn't help but wonder if Sirius did things like this on purpose. Did he know what he was doing to Remus? Did he realize the depth of Remus feelings for him?

They waited until they were sure that both Filch and Mrs. Norris were out of hearing range before slowly exiting the cramped closet together.

"How does it feel to finally be out of the closet?" Sirius joked as the two of them hurriedly made their way back to the Gryffindor Tower.

Remus rolled his eyes in response, but his heart was beating a mile a minute.

* * *

**III.**

Peter had managed to bring something called _marijuana_ into Hogwarts after winter break. He claimed that he had pilfered it from his squib cousin, and asked if the others would like to try. Apparently his cousin and him hand spent the entire break stoned. Much to Remus' dismay.

"What do you do with it?" Asked James. "It looks a bit like gillyweed."

"You have to roll it up, give me a bit of the cigarette parchment I brought," Peter ordered while extending his hand as James handed it to him. The four of them were sitting in a circle in the middle of their dorm room.

Sirius watched with curiosity as Peter put some of the marijuana on to the parchment and began to roll it up, licking it closed.

"This is called a blunt." Peter stated.

"Now what?" Sirius asked.

"You smoke it," Remus answered with a sigh, "Pete, you really shouldn't have this in school. If we get caught we can all get into very big trouble. Perhaps even expelled."

The mention of expulsion is what really gained James and Sirius' interest.

"Really? Then we must try it." James grinned wickedly, hazel eyes gleaming with mischief.

An hour later found three out of the four Marauders laughing their arses off about nothing. Remus sat there, with what was left of their blunt dangling from his parted lips, smoking leisurely.

"I'm starved." James suddenly announced, patting his stomach with a look of confusion on his face, "Let's say we go down to the kitchens."

"I'll go with you. We'll bring food back up here." Peter said, standing up on wobbly feet.

"Pete, you're so brilliant!" James grinned, reaching for his invisibility cloak and the Marauders Map.

"Be careful you two, try not to get caught." Remus sighed, bemused. He was rather bored and ready to go to sleep soon. It was a Thursday night and they had classes in the morning.

As soon as James and Peter were gone, Sirius turned his steely gray eyes to Remus from his spot lounging on the floor. "Moony, I think I love you."

Remus rolled his eyes, "Padfoot, you're high."

He got up and went into the bathroom that the four of them shared in order to get ready for bed. Once the door closed and locked behind him, Remus allowed himself to show his annoyance. _In love with him_? He snorted. If only Sirius hadn't said that while intoxicated, then it might've meant something.

* * *

  
**IV.**

Their Sixth Year began with Sirius coming back from summer even more beautiful than he already had been. Remus had thought it was impossible, but the proof was before him. It made him ache with a want that he didn't realize he could possess at the age of sixteen. As it was, Sirius _knew_ he was good looking, and it was so very annoying.

Remus glared at Sirius from across the courtyard. The other boy didn't even notice his heated gaze. Sirius was talking it up with a girl from Ravenclaw, she was very pretty. Intimidatingly so. Of course it was natural for Sirius to want to talk to her, get to know her a bit, snog her and maybe even more. They made a handsome pair.

"Maybe if you keep staring at him like that he'll combust." Lily's voice brought Remus out of his jealousy. "One can only hope he does, and then maybe he'll wake up and see what's in front of him."

Amber eyes peered into emerald ones for a moment.

"I don't think it's that simple Lily." Remus stated slowly.

Lily shrugged, "I, for one, think that lighting Sirius Black on fire would be brilliant."

"You're also one who nearly despises him," Remus smirked and shook his head, "it's only natural for him to talk to that girl, or _any_ girl, he is a skirt chaser...birds would be much more interesting than...me."

Lily frowned and watched as Remus got up from his spot next to her and left the courtyard. She noticed how Sirius watched as well.

* * *

**V.**

Sirius Black always went after vibrant, beautiful, busty, birds. It was the exact opposite of what he wanted. More than once he caught himself being attracted the to mousy, quiet, bookish type of girls. More precisely, he'd catch himself being attracted to quiet, bookish, _boy_.

 Sirius found that he enjoyed himself more watching after Remus then being with any bird. Remus was smarter, kinder, and better looking than any of the girls in Hogwarts combined. He wasn't ashamed to admit to himself that he loved Remus something fierce.

More than a friend should.

It was these emotions that scared poor Sirius shitless. He was not ashamed about what he felt, but the crippling fear of Remus finding out was unbearable. So he continued what he was doing, going on with his life as if he wasn't deeply in love with one of his closest mates. He came to this realization sometime during fifth year, and at that point in time decided that it was best to chase after skirts then try to go after the one that he truly wanted. It was painful, yes, but it kept their friendship safe.

Besides, it wasn't as if Remus felt the same.

* * *

**VI.**

The Astronomy Tower was always the best place to go when one wanted to look at the night sky. And the sky was always it's brightest during the winter. Thus was why Sirius was sprawled across a thin cloak on the rooftop of the tower, a cigarette securely held between the fingers of the hand that was dangling dangerously over the edge of the roof.

"If you're not careful when you stand then you'll certainly fall to your death," The sudden voice made Sirius jump and quickly turn his head.

Remus stood near the door, an amused look on his face and a thermos in his hands, "You've been staring at Orion's belt for the last six minutes."

"Is that how long you've been watching me?" Sirius asked, taking a lazy drag from his cigarette.

Remus shrugged and sat down near Sirius' head, "Would you like some?" He offered, gesturing to the thermos.

"Fire whisky?"

"Hot chocolate."

Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically but sat up and took the heated drink that was offered to him, tilting his head back and exposing his throat as he drank, Remus couldn't help but follow the bob of his Adam's apple. When done, Sirius licked the remaining drops of liquid off of his mouth and grinned at Remus (who's face had gone suspiciously red, though whether it was from the cold or because of Sirius was unknown).

"You and your chocolate Rem, it did warm me rather well, but next time bring some fire whisky."

Remus shook his head and remained silent, staring up at the constellation of Sirius. Thinking that the stars were probably easier to reach than the actual person who was sitting not a foot away.

* * *

**VII.**

Pumpkin juice slid down Remus's throat easily, the cold liquid making his heated body cool down. The Halloween Ball was traditional, but he didn't know why he was dragged along. He honestly didn't care that this was their Seventh Year and the last time they would be able to enjoy this. He'd rather be in bed reading.

Very carefully, Remus made sure to not pull a face when he realized that someone had spiked the juice. He wasn't sure just how James had managed to do it, but he did a brilliant job of it.

Speaking of James, he noticed his messy haired friend dancing with Lily, both smiling and laughing like the youths that they were. For the night the war that was going on outside of the school walls was momentarily forgotten. The students were able to just be children, with no real worries in the world.

Peter was dancing as well, with some girl from Hufflepuff. Sometimes Remus wondered if Peter should've been put into that house instead, he fit in so well with them.

Sirius was parading around with his date for the evening. It made Remus's heart ache and his head hurt.

He was a masochist. So Remus drank more spiked pumpkin juice, leaving the ball early with some boy from Ravenclaw. Unaware of Sirius's gaze on him the entire time.

* * *

**VIII.**

They had graduated nearly a year ago. Much to his parents dismay, Remus lived in his own flat in London. It was cheap, but it was his. He worked in a muggle library and enjoyed the simple, somewhat normal, life.

At least, it would be normal had there not been a wizarding war going on. Had he not been part of some miniscule resistance known as The Order of the Phoenix. However, Remus Lupin was indeed part of such a group. His life was a constant battle of life and death, fear and bravery, survival.

Tonight, however, just so happened that tonight his break from his life.

It was dangerous to walk around at night in London these days, but Remus still happily made his way to the only gay club that he knew of that was close enough to apparate to without causing a commotion.

He was only down the street from the club when he ran into the man that had been plaguing his every thought since fourth year, Sirius Black. It was surprising. They hadn't seen each other for months now, Dumbledore kept them both busy, and when they hugged their greeting their hold lingered a heartbeat too long.

"I'm actually on my way to see Moody," Sirius stated, leaning casually against his motorbike.

Remus drank in the sight of him. Leather jacket, black hair, bright eyes. "Be safe, Pads."

This earned him a rakish grin that caused his heart to flutter, "always."

When Remus was finally able to disentangle himself from Sirius's amazing gray eyes, he began to trek once again. The conversation with Sirius made that old ache flare painfully, and he immediately decided that he would go home with someone that night. He needed to.

The young man he picked up had dark hair and light blue eyes, he wasn't quite as handsome as Sirius, but he was good enough. (Only he wasn't.)

* * *

  
**IX.**

Sirius hated  how he was never able to see his friends due to Order business or Auror training. Moody was killing him with both, but he refused to take any breaks.

Once entering his flat he immediately fell down onto the couch, his entire life was upside-down for a few moments. But that's how it felt all the time these days.

Toeing off his boots, and shrugging off his leather jacket while remaining in that same lying down position was a task, but he managed and let everything fall to the floor. His wand laid out on the small coffee table before him. Sirius missed Hogwarts desperately, sure the world was exciting, but the war was making living near impossible.

He missed the safety and security of the school, although he'd never admit it. He missed the old days of sharing a dorm and being a true Marauder with James, Peter and Remus.

Most of all, he missed Remus. The memory of sharp, amber, eyes were the last thing he saw as he close his own eyes, breathing getting shallow. If he paid attention closely, he'd notice how his memories were letting him smell the scent of old books and chocolate, easing him into sleep.

* * *

  
**X.**

Lily was pregnant. They were barely twenty, but now Lily and James were getting married.

This was the first time in what felt like an eternity since the four Marauders had been together in the same room. There was no bachelor party. Instead the four of them spent the night at James tiny two bedrooms, one bathroom, flat. Drinking fire whisky and talking about everything they could. The world had changed the four of them a tad bit. Peter was more nervous and fidgety than usual, James was a bit more subdued with his cockiness, Remus seemed almost jaded, and Sirius was just bone tired.

When it was time to retire for the night, Sirius immediately demanded sharing the guest room with Remus since it was known fact that when Peter drank he snored as bad as a giant did.

The two young men changed into their sleepwear with their backs to each other, occasionally sneaking a glance at the other.

When they were finished they managed to transfigure the small bed into a king sized one and charmed it to stay that way throughout the night. Saying their goodnights, they went to sleep peacefully, only to wake up spooned against each other. Both were perfectly aware that the position they were in was highly inappropriate, they didn't care. They could pretend for just a few stolen moments in the pre-dawn light that the world consisted of just the two of them.

 

**END**


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